Ask Me Anything

This is my version of Formspring.me – I have moved all of my questions and answers here, feel free to email me new questions.

I reserve the right to be vague or indirect – *wink*

Formspring.me Questions Answered

What makes your angry? Do you get angry very soon? How do you overcome your anger?

Liars make me angry. I cannot stand and will not tolerate people in my life that consistently and knowingly lie.

When you think back to your childhood, what was the hardest part about being a kid?

Learning how to navigate the many moods of my mother and how and when to approach her for anything. That sounds bad, but it really is true.

“show”er or “grow”er?

Yes

What one man has had the single greatest impact on your life thus far, and why? by LTHRSKINBIKER

It is the man who I have thought a lot about this week as I watched one of his favorite Showtime sitcoms. The man who taught me to see all sides of an argument before coming to a conclusion. The one man who taught me, by example, to face extreme adversity head on, deal with it and whatever happens, happens. The man who gave me so much, asked for so little in return and in the end was surrounded by his family.

This man was my Dad who passed away in 2005 from lung cancer. He is, was and always will be my hero.

Describe an activity that you think is truly romantic.

I am a romantic at heart – but a minimalist. I don’t need a champagne brunch at a snow topped mountain resort with a breathtaking view. But just taking a walk with someone you care about, as the sun is setting, hand in hand, can be the most romantic moment in your life that can ignite a fire in your soul.

yur gay?

ummmm, yes, You’re str8? How’s that working out for you?

When someone fails at something, what should he or she do?

The old adage says “try try again”, “get back on the horse”, etc.

I cannot give a blanket statement that fits every situation. Usually, yes, give it another go, don’t give up so easily. BUT – that doesn’t mean doing it the same way. Sometimes you have to analyze the situation and maybe approach it from a different angle, a different point of view. Let you mind ponder it for a bit and see if you don’t see something you didn’t see initially. That is how I work out my programming challenges when I code.

And, there are times to legitimately call it a wipe and give it a rest. You can come back to it later or do something completely different.

What is one quality you admire most in others?

I love to be around someone with a good sense of humor, someone who can laugh at themselves and even laugh at my odd sense of humor.

Honesty is important too though. Nothing will turn me off to someone and write them out of my life faster than being dishonest with me.

What is one food that you will not eat?

Onion Rings, Onion Petals, Blooming Onion, Onion Soup, Carmel Onion, Onion Shish-ka-bob, Onion on Pizza, Onion on a Hamburger, Onion on a sandwich, ….get the picture?

What is your favorite condiment and why?

hmmm – tough – top three are ketchup, mustard and horseradish – if I had to pick one, mustard

Are you like your parents or different? How?

Very much so. While I have my mother’s propensity to worry, in all other things I am very much like my Dad. Not only in looks, but in his temperament, his compassion, his love of travel, love of movies and reading. I also share some of the not so good traits as well like avoiding conflict and not being too communicative about my feelings.

If you had to spend a day not using any technology, what would you do?

Easy – Read. Pick up one of my favorites or just for fun books and just escape into another world in my mind.

What do you do when you are feeling very sad or depressed?

I like to find a good movie and just escape for a few hours. A tear-jerker drama if I really want to escape or if I’m ready for it, a comedy to just make me laugh.

What ice cream flavor would you like to invent? by qbancncer

Pizza with spicy sauce, Italian sausage, pepperoni, bacon, mushroom, jalapeno and 4 cheeses.

What do you think of Deaf people?

I have high admiration and respect for anyone that can navigate and live in a world without sound, sight, limbs, use of legs, etc where everyone expects and assumes that they are not that way. I’ve had deaf friends over the years and know a couple professional translators. While I never learned ASL, I did learn some in college and used it a bit, it is something I want to pick back up and get better at.

Do you spit or swallow?

Swallow

Raw or wrapped?

Since I am in a monogamous LTR and we are both tested it is raw. IF I were single or people outside the relationship involved (which doesn’t happen, don’t ask) – WRAPPED – always. It’s not a rule I always followed when I was single, I will admit, and I was very lucky each and every time I did not play safe.

If you could take a pill to make you straight, would you?

I pondered this question several years ago with a friend. I had never given it a thought before but all of a sudden I knew what my answer was.

NO – because if I did I would have no clue what to do with my life. Who I am today, everything I have experienced, lived, struggled with, and who I have become is in part due to my being gay. I like who I am, I don’t want to nor do I need to change.

Well, tomorrow is Friday (TGIF)… do you have any plans for the weekend? by qbancncer

Today is Friday – no plans except for making an appearance at the bar that hosts my dart team. So I guess I will be out for a Saturday night, a very rare thing for me.

What day of the week does your Birthday fall on in 2010? Any special plans? by qbancncer

It actually falls on a Sunday this year – on President’s day weekend next month. (that pretty much tells you when) No plans at this point.

do you think reverse psychology really works? =P

Obviously yes, do you?

Are you a ‘giver’ or a ‘taker’?

I’d like to think and believe that I am a ‘giver’ – to my detriment sometimes, both financially and emotionally. Over the years I’ve had to learn that it’s better for me to hold back some and not move into ‘giver’ mode right away, but give myself (and the other person) some space and re-think my response.

Every giver needs another one in their life and I am blessed to have my partner who is also extremely giving. We can both trade-off or even just relax in exile from everyone when we need that space to recharge.

What would you do with a Brazilian type I? by tcheloferreira

Now that I understand your English is not that good, I understand the question.

I think the Brazilian men are HOT, it’s that perfect storm combination of dark hair, olive skin, latin and portuguese mix. What would I do with one? Assuming I were single, a LOT.

sorry I’m not good with English, but you want to come to Brazil? by tcheloferreira

Brazil is one of the places I would love to visit someday.

And in Portuguese (Google translated)
O Brasil é definitivamente um dos lugares que eu gostaria de visitar algum dia.

Have you or your guy ever experienced racism or intolerance in your relationship and do you have any advice for meeting your ideal guy? (I know that is a naughty two questions!) xx by DanielJUK

1. Yes, racism mainly – my partner clued me on to simple things that most people would not think of, like a salesman coming up to a mixed race couple and talking to the white one, the server in a restaurant putting the check next to the white guest, being seated in a restaurant away from where most people were eating with other minorities (people of color and/or gay), the salesmen keeping an obvious eye on people of color in an electronics store. All of these things have happened to us.

This does not include the things he tells me that happens when I’m not around – like getting stopped driving thru an affluent part of town, five times, for no reason. Being told on the phone that an apartment complex had apartments available and upon arriving claiming to have none. And more. As he puts it, every day something happens where he is reminded that he is a person of color.

2. One of my earlier answers addressed this. But my number one tip is to RELAX. You are not dating to find your soul mate, dating is a process where you are figuring out who you are, who they are, and IF – big IF a deeper connection is made beyond the chemical induced attraction, then you can start looking at future possibilities.

That initial attraction is mind numbing. You need at least four weeks of dating and getting to know each other before any kind of exclusive commitment should be made. Once the fog and blinders are lifted, THEN start looking at the relationship and see if a future is probable or even possible.

Would you rather I came on your chest or face?

If that were to happen – chest – along with a few of your friends – 😉

I asked about your name, Tazz602. What’s the strangest question you’ve been asked, and what was your answer? by Musicfanmic

No strange questions on here – so far, IRL – I don’t have an answer, I’ve been asked to do crazy shit in my single days – goes with being in very seedy places. But I cannot think of a strange question right now.

What does Tazz602 mean?

It really doesn’t have a meaning. Back in the IRC days I was using Tazz, but butted heads with an admin level jerk who used that and I was kicked and locked out when I used it. Realized too it was actually kind of common as a handle, soooo – added the 602 which is the main Phoenix area code. You can find me with that handle on all the social networking sites I am on.

What’s one food you’ll never eat again?

I am never supposed to be eating seaweed, in anything, including soup, sushi, etc for medical reasons.

As far as a food I will not eat due to taste – raw plain onion, It’s a genetic distaste, my uncle is the same way. Depending on how it’s cooked I can handle it in food.

You say you are a developer, a developer of what and have you always been one?

I am a developer using mainly MS tools, .NET & SQL Server. I thrive mainly with the database development, but also doing some custom applications and web development for my current employer – I have been in development for 14 years I think – I worked for one company where I rose from app developer, database developer, DBA, Project Manager, Manager and then Director over development, then that company went under in the early stages of the economic recession, early casualty of the democratic agenda, i.e. reducing private companies in the Student Loan business. Before that I was doing call center ops analyst, tech support, customer support. About 20 years in the call center industry in various positions as an agent and developing solutions and custom apps. Still doing that today, stick with what you know in this economy.

What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

I’ve been so very blessed – and especially blessed when needed. This is hard to pin down to one, but I think I’d have to say my father, for accepting me for who I was, even though I did not live up to his Irish Catholic macho upbringing. Yes, he was one of those rough and tumble kids from the wrong side of the tracks, but his parent’s divorce and the Navy gave him a view of the world. Then I, being his oldest son and then gay, he accepted me for who I was regardless of his upbringing. I have never and will never forget him. RIP Dad.

what was major accomplishment of 09 .. and what do you hope to check off the list in 2010… twin

09: I took a bit of a risky step in moving to a job that has fewer benefits/pay but doing more of the things that I like to do and hopefully has long-term potential as the company grows.

For 2010 – Get serious about losing the weight and at the same time cut at least one other health issue (HBP) and Seriously look at returning to school and making a step or two in that direction.

When do you know its time to just give up trying to get someones attention to date them?

I believe common sense tells you that they aren’t interested pretty quick, insecurity keeps you trying to contact them until you finally realize it’s futile and a waste of time.

I’d say no more than three phone calls or attempts. If they want it, they will respond, more than that is futile. You aren’t going to convince them of anything by stalking them, you’ll only push them away further.

To Pho or not to Pho?

I was going to answer that I wished there were some near me because I’d like to try it, but after checking out phofever.com there are some close enough that I just might make a short trip for lunch. Much healthier than what I have eaten.

if your best friends husband was hot and drunk would you hit it if he wanted you to? his wife is one of your best friends…

Unfortunately I am not one of the people who would take advantage of this unique, once in a lifetime opportunity. Friendship means a lot to me, and you don’t screw a friend over for an opportunity such as this. I’m fully aware that this answer puts me in the minority, but hey, that’s how I roll.

Do you find that prejudice is much of an issue with our own (gay) community?

Good question – very good question. Since I come from a multi-racial family (3 siblings adopted, all non-white) and I have a partner who is black I’ve become very perceptive to racism, intentional and unintentional. Funny how simple things people do that you would think nothing of is a completely different statement depending on your point of reference.

I apologize in advance – soap-box time:

Short answer to your question is yes. I’ve seen a lot of prejudice over the years in the gay community, some has gotten better but it’s still there. From the age-old fight of gay men vs. lesbians to racial and even handicapped prejudices. Just 20 years ago Phoenix had “the one” Black & Hispanic gay bar. To be honest though, it’s not just gay white men – I’ve seen and been on the receiving end of prejudice from black gay men who only thought people of color should only be with other people of color.

I’m also very aware that being a person of color has added society and cultural issues when it comes to being both a minority and homosexual. I acknowledge that 100%.

Unfortunately it’s there in our community, even as we approach 2010. Just look at the color of the people in power in the major gay organizations, and the sex for that matter. The fact that we have to have separate groups for Black, Hispanics, Asians, Deaf etc says everything. And prejudice is also evident in expressed ageism, men who don’t fit certain profiles and those that do, i.e. twinks, muscle, bears, etc.

In my opinion – we are such a niche subculture that until we can drop this bullshit and ALL work together for our common goals of equality, it simply won’t happen. Our own prejudices keep us from being a force that can combat the general hatred of all of us. AND – don’t think the Religious Right Wing-nuts don’t KNOW THIS and use this freely against us. (i.e. the initial fallout from the CA Prop 8 vote)

OK – that’s all for now – I’m sure not everyone is going to see this the same way – but while that is MY opinion; intelligent, open-minded discourse is always welcome.

Rank the Bonds in order of most attractive to least

Easy –
Top of the list, anyone’s list, will be Sean Connery
then next –
Daniel Craig
Timothy Dalton
George Lazenby
Pierce Brosnan
Roger Moore

15 years – what do you do for some alone time? (hey, it was a good question for me, thought I’d ask you, too) by markmancao

Well, I do play darts once a week, that is my social time out of the house. As for alone time, I’ve got it really lucky in that I work from home and don’t have a lot of interaction with people, so I pretty much can break away from work at any moment and just go shopping or kick off early before he comes home.

So, its your bday, we drag you out, mandatory Karaoke….what are your first 3 performances? Btw I loved your answer about tips for ltr, twin…oops

OMG – this just gets freakier and freakier.

I was just thinking about karaoke on the way home tonight. Normally I avoid it like the plague, but listening to Ertha Kitt sing Santa Baby and singing along I thought to myself I could do that in Karaoke (srsly – no joke), so two more – Reba’s Why Haven’t I Heard From You – and then, I’ll try and probably kill Mack the Knife.

What’s your favorite part about being in a relationship?

Being with someone who gets me. I don’t think there is anything better than that – that he accepts me as I am, the good and the bad.

Assuming you watch Glee, what is your favorite number? by airrun86

That is a good and very hard question – I love Glee – yes, I am a Gleek. I love their selections of songs and I’m sure they will only get better.

Picking one is hard – if I had to only pick one it would be Somebody to Love. If I could select very close seconds it’d be a tie with Sweet Caroline and It’s My Life/Confessions mash-up (who doesn’t love a good mash-up?)

So, is there no “cold country” trait in you at all? (bet. Cali and ‘zona, not much snow and ice)

You know what Felix Unger said when you assume.

First off – keep in mind there are areas in both Cali and ‘zona that are plenty cold, have snow and ice. Both states have a variety of topography. Sorry for that, but it is my partners pet peeve that everyone assume Arizona is all desert, he’s from Flagstaff which is in the mountains of Northern AZ.

But to answer your question, I was born in San Diego, but grew up until I was 8 in Seattle, my folks are from Spokane and most of my extended family is in the Pacific NW areas of Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. I actually prefer it colder, I love being able to wear long sleeves and bundle up and cuddle up. I am a heat bag naturally and I am not one you want to cuddle with in the heat of the Phoenix summer.

Would you like to move to California one day?

I was born in California and grew up there. It is one of my favorite places to visit – much too expensive to live like I would want to and where I would want to, but some day, some day.

If I came to visit and didn’t have a place to stay, could I share a bed with you and your partner?

Well, honestly, we have a spare room and a comfortable couch. We don’t share the bed, sorry.

If you wear a kilt and I happen to look under it, what will i see?

The excellent stitching of the seems in the high quality of my kilt.

Oh – and if I am wearing it properly then possibly my naughty bits.

Top or Bottom?

What day is it?

Whats your favorite position in bed?

I like to start out on my side to get things going then roll over on my stomach, clutching my pillow, but will usually end up on my side again when I wake up. (you didn’t say what was happening in bed – lol)

Ever try bondage? If no would you like to?

Read the answer to the first question. I have, and would again. I have been restrained and I have restrained another.

What is “attractive” to you? Feel free to include fetishes if you’re comfortable enough. by phreddd

Very difficult question for me because attractive can encompass many facets. Most people assume because my partner is black that I only go for that. Not true – a person is attractive, not a color.

Most importantly to me – a person of good character, someone I can trust, a strong person but not intransigent. Open minded and willing to discuss topics. Intelligence is very attractive to me. I like someone who can be adventurous and as far as fetishes – someone willing to experiment and is open-minded is very attractive to me.

Physically – varies and can change depending on my mood (true Aquarius trait) I guess I gravitate towards dark hair, and lite eyes, but a blond where the carpet matches the drapes is hot too. I like taller men but they never seem to like me. Nice eyes, good smile, body type can vary to a degree, but both ends of the spectrum are not appealing to me. Yes, there can be too much muscle. NO shaving body and pubes – NEVER. Trim, ok – shave, NO.

What’s it like to have so many people find you attractive?

OK – how to answer that question without sounding immodest or like an big headed ass? But this question does give me the opportunity to jump on the soapbox a bit.

I don’t think I am all that, I’m just me. BUT, I do notice that I get some attention, even more when I’m not carrying the extra weight. Now days, it’s neither here nor there, and I pay it no mind. When I was single I came across to a lot of people as stand-offish and an attitude queen because I’m not an extrovert. I don’t easily start conversations with strangers. It’s really hard for me.

It seems to be a double standard, a good-looking person who doesn’t talk to you is an attitude queen, but an average person is just shy and a less than average person, well, you get the picture.

In fact, I know this sounds bad, but one of the good things about being heavier is that I don’t get as much attention. The one time in my life when I was slim, single and out, in my mid 20’s, I got a lot of attention and people coming up to me. It was so obvious that it was ONLY because of the way I looked, I quickly realized just how shallow most people. It was very annoying. They didn’t know me and didn’t want to, I was a prize to be bagged.

Love me, hate me, like me and follow me for who I am, not for the way I look.

James mcavory slaps you on the ass and … ?

James McAvoy? If so – then I turn around and plant a big one on those young luscious Scottish lips, tongue included if he kisses back.

Since you grew up with a large family, do you find that you eat faster than most people? I heard that was a thing in large families, competing for the food on the table. by markmancao

Good question – and yes, I do – all my adult life when eating out with people I’ve had to force myself to slow down. I always knew it was due to the family meals growing up and competing for good “seconds”.

When did you first realize you were gay?

While I was always attracted to the same-sex, I put two and two together in the 8th grade. I had the opportunity to have a very pretty girlfriend, but in the words of the song “I felt nothing”. It was also the same year Anita Bryant was on her Dade County crusade, so I had my realization of who I was and realization of the homophobia that faced me all at the same time.

What are you sending @jonrb for Christmas? LOL

I hacked into Santa’s list and he has you down for coal – so, I have to side with the fat man, picking up a bag of Kingston charcoal briquettes today for you.

Anderson Cooper, Rufus Wainwright, and Adam Lambert walk into a bar. Who do you kiss first, slap first or drool over first.

Now that is a toughie –
Process of elimination

Slap – Adam Lambert – only because I don’t want to kiss him and I would never drool over him.

Drool – Anderson Cooper – being an American and raised with a silver spoon he’d be probably have me arrested or sued if I either slapped or kissed him.

Kiss – Rufus Wainwright – Not being an uptight American he’d probably take it as a compliment and think nothing of it – and hopefully – maybe even let himself enjoy it. Always thought he was cute enough to plant one on.

What are some secrets or tips in having a lonnnnng and healthy relationship .. man-2-man.

1. Preparation – when you are dating, you are not dating to find your long-term perfect mate, you are dating to learn who you are, how compatible you are with different types of people, what you will and won’t live with and what kind of person you eventually want to end up with. And IF someone comes along during that process that makes a deep connection, allow things to progress. Never date with the intention of that person becoming your next long-term BF.

2. Reality – Know going in that no relationship is going to be perfect. You are two imperfect human beings and you both will make mistakes. Once you understand that, be ready to forgive and MOVE ON. You will never forget, but you don’t bring it back up, it’s history.

3. Respect – Your partner has his own feelings and sometimes they do not mirror yours and they don’t have to. Respect his opinions and revel in your differences and the conversations that can come out of that.

4. Communication – the biggie – but long term relationships are very easy to just go thru the motions day after day. We are human and never static, we are always changing and hopefully growing. We need to keep the lines of communication open – don’t stop asking how their day went, and don’t hold things back and just assume your partner knows what you are thinking.

Pick three places you’d like to visit, three people you’d like to meet there, and three things you’d like to do with them.

1. Ireland, @sintaxasn & @alankinsella, @desfry and @patireland and friends, DRINK, explore and learn about the country from the natives – not a tour guide and see if I can find records pertaining to the Irish half of my ancestry anywhere.
2. NYC, @mcm180, @shafiqa and @thechaserblog and friends, DRINK, explore & learn what the city has to offer from the people that live there and make the walk up the Statue of Liberty – just to say I’ve done it.
3. New Zealand- I don’t know three people there, but same kind of thing – meet people and explore, see if I can find the family that took my father and other navy servicemen in, shared their home and showed them around the country. Find at least three of the places my father visited from his slides and take a picture with me there.

What if anything would you change about yourself?

I would like to have the metabolism that allows me to eat like I would like and not gain weight. Course then, wouldn’t we all??!!

How about growing up in a big family?

How was it? It was interesting, I am the oldest of nine, three siblings are adopted, a sister in the middle and the two youngest brothers. The older kids of course took a lot of responsibility in babysitting, chores, etc. I saw my mother go thru multiple pregnancies, I changed diapers, etc. The older siblings have different memories of our parents when they were younger. It’s interesting sharing stories with the younger siblings. There are things they didn’t know and visa versa.

When I was younger I didn’t like it, but as an adult, it has been good. Multiple siblings came in very handy when my father was diagnosed with cancer, for his last 18 months we were all able to help and take part in care giving, not leaving it up to one person to bear all the burden.

What’s also interesting is we talk about the first wave, second and third – the first three siblings are closest in age and experiences, the second three have their own and the last three their own again. It’s interesting when we talk about the differences and changes over the years.

if you could live anywhere in the world (money, and work obligations not being a hindrance) where would that be?

Keep in mind, living is different from visiting – I’d want to live where I am familiar with the place and the opportunities and available amenities. With that caveat – I’d have to say San Francisco. I grew up in the area, I know the city, I love the ocean, the weather, the things that are predictable and the ones that aren’t.
A close second choice would probably be NYC, even though it is relatively unknown – I know it has similar opportunities and options with the added benefit of being new and still needing to be explored and discovered.

This is a little obvious, but how did you meet your partner?

D and I met thru friends at a party, we hit it off, talked for a while, there was an attraction, BUT – I was also two weeks away from moving away from Phoenix. I was done with the town and the men in it. Knowing all this he called me anyway. We had two dates before I left. He visited me in Austin, we stayed connected, and it just blossomed via long distance. We met the middle of July 1994, I moved back to Phoenix and in with him Nov 30 of that year.

If 2 plus 2 is equal to 4, what is the kinkiest thing you’ve done with another guy?

Well since the IF statement is true, I have to answer.

Kinky is in the eye of the beholder, what’s kinky to one is vanilla to another and OMFG to a third. So, my answer will be about the kinkiest overall experience, which happened on my 30th birthday.

Without going into a long version – in short – I spent the night before my birthday in a dungeon here in Phoenix, blindfolded and being used by two daddies. Let’s see, there was a sling, I spent time in a cage for humiliation, I was tied to a X and had weights hanging from my balls, bare ass spanking, some tactile play and ending with some watersports.

Boxers or briefs?

Boxer briefs – almost always.

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